The real "F" word....FAT.

i had like 8 parties to go to this weekend so i cheated big time, but i exercised, and after getting on the scale yesterday, i lost ONE pound…that is good. you are supposed to lose no more than 3 pounds a week…okay i skipped breakfast, but as soon as i get out of class, im having yogurt, granola and some fruit.

bye ladies

-jay :)

hey peeps its been a whole LONNNNNGGGGG day since we have talked. for dinner last night i had 1 1/2 cups of ravioli and some peaches. for snack/dessert, i had graham crackers.

and today for breakfast i had whole grain cheerios, a banana, and some graham crackers [3]. lunch was my typical freebird burrito and for dinner some veggies…corn, carrots, peas and spinach. I honestly think my body is getting used to feeling somewhat empty…of course that sounds bad but your stomach stretches and shrinks according to your intake. so eventually, within the next 1-2 weeks, i will be used to this feeling and it will be second nature.

but for now im just gonna continue to eat healthy and in small portions, and next week, after my weigh in, im introducing workouts :/ ugh, but you must exercise too.

for breakfast today i had

1 1/2 cups whole grain cheerios

a large LARGE cup of water

a medium banana

a cup of 2% milk

…it was tasty…but i need to implement exercise now.

so today, regardless of what i will do, i WILL exercise.

this plus a full summer school load and two jobs is KILLING me. but with you guys watching i can make it.

what did you eat today?

okay guys for lunch i had my freebird burrito. chicken, lime, jalapenos, black beans, rice, corn, and salsa.

For dinner i had a salad. madarin oranges, lettuce, walnuts, raspberry vineagrarette [spelling mistake lol] , black beans and corn.

was it good? yeah it was okay.

was it as delicious at those wings i wanted from pizza hut were gonna be? HELL NO. but it felt good to have some will power and not get those wings…even though i even drove to the place.

weight loss is a total struggle for me. one:ive always felt like i couldnt do it, then on top of that i think my biggest fear is losing all that weight and still feeling like a failure. :/ its time i make a change.

BREAKFAST time everyone!

i had a slim fast and an orange and of course i take a daily multivitamin to promote nail growth, hair growth, etc.

My stomach is going through torture not eating pancakes, crossaints, etc for breakfast but ”they say” it takes 30 days to build a habit. -____-.

either way i forgot to mention that i had a cup of real banana pudding. I got it at the daycare i work at…so that was my dessert.

and i had my first weigh in as i promised.

My beginning weight is : 255 pounds

as depressing as that is, im glad it went down from about a month ago at the doctor when i was 261. My doctor said i have alot of muscle tone from playing volleyball for years, so i would look great if i got down to 200-210 as long as i stayed active. but my goal is 185. which is 70 pounds. My family says if i lost more than 30 i would look weird. haha.

oh other weight loss stats about me:

Height: 5’8”

Pant Size: 14-22 [but i mostly wear 16s and 18s. I have about 3 pairs of 14s and one BIG ASS pair of 22 shorts lol]

Shirt size 1X-4X [depending on material/store] but im in 1X or 2X 95% of the time.

ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ME ON THIS JOURNEY. and ill ttyl…im off to lunch in an hr. [another black bean and chicken burrito on wheat]

-jay :)

sry guys ive been so busy with homework…[grrrr] but for dinner i had two wheat tacos. beans as my meat substitute, a little 2%cheese, corn, jalapenos, and salsa…they were pretty good. only thing is its 10:25 pm and im already starving again :/ well im done eating for the day, onto homework. bye guys!

-jay :)

OH BTW, pics of me and weight all will be up by tommorow PROMISE. i have so much to do tonight.

i was inspired to write this post because as i was leaving class another girl said that im always dressed nice and asked where i shop. Well, being overweight i used to HATE to go shopping because it was a depressing process for me. I was always the largest size in junors [US juniors} which is like 13, and sometimes if they went up to 15,i could find clothes. I was in major denial that i was “that big” and so i refused to shop in the plus size section. Also, what i did find in the plus size section was FAR from age appropiate, so i felt like being fat made me unfashionable. Well about a year ago, out of nowhere my confidence came back, and suddenly i became a fashion addict. This is the season for ALL ladies, size 2-32 to dress nice. My pant size varies from a 14-20 depending on the jeans, mostly being at 16. My skirts and shirts have varied from XL-4X, i just have learned to wear what looks good on you, regardless of what the tag said. Either way, most of my clothing comes from FOREVER 21. They have clothes for sizes 0-18, XS-3X their website is www.forever21.com and then i like to shop at a store called DEB www.debshops.com (sizes 0-24) Forever has great clothes all the time, i have to pick around deb to find things but their shorts and skirts fit like a GEM!!! have fun shopping ladies! :) 

for breakfast today, i ate a slim fast drink, an LARGE orange and a small peach. It almost made me late to summer school, but it was nice to actually eat breakfast. i havent had a decent/healthy breakfast probably since the start of college almost 2 yrs ago. and it has actually given more energy. this is a good feeling. now, if i dont die in the heat and humidity i will be able to exercise :)

also, i realize i can still eat at freebirds!!!! I just have to change what i eat:

instead of flour tacos, wheat. instead of steak, chicken, instead of refried beans, black beans. and then all the veggies i want. i love my steak and i HATE wheat but i can make it!

hey guys if you feel like sharing, what did you eat today/for breakfast?

-jay :)